|My god I needed a brake. Reading that last post seems crazy... I can't believe I felt that way. I'm going to London for 3 days I will start when I get back.|
|Shit that citalopram high sent me to sleep. I'm on 20mg now. woooo. The problem is that I just want to be out of it more and more. I don't want to die I just don't want to feel. |
|Ugh just took 50mg of citalopram with vodka and now i'm feeling happy I have been stashing for a day like this. I have decided I am a devoted ana from Monday.|
Why the fuck won't anyone save me?
I ate. I ate lots. I'm fat. I'm disgusting. I failed. I have no control. I'm lazy. I'm obese. I'm a pig.
Take me back? I dream of you. I would dream of you if I slept. My second being. My ana incarnate. How do I expect to be thin if I eat? No ones intrested in you. No one cares. You have no real friends. Everyone bitches behind your back. Not even your Father loves you. Who do you turn to? You have no one. Your alone! Mabye you would have real friends if you didn't eat. If you were beautiful.
No one cares enough to save you thats why. Why do you deserve saving. deserve anything. You FAIL! all the time it's all you do. Why do you bother? Why do you live?